bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Randomize
