I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
