Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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