How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
did i just pee glitter
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
