you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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