I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
