How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
