Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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