Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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