i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
