God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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