Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
