Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
