totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
