Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
