I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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