If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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