my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
