Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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