Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize