Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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