I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
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Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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