He kissed a someone with a penis
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
