Taylor Swift is so right about you.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Randomize
