I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
