i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize