Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
