Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
