Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
