my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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