need another drink. this is the easiest way
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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