Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize