you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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