I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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