Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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