Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize