: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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