it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
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just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
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Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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