You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
