so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
