Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
wow bdsm is so cute
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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