Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
