I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
