I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
