Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
