i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So many bounce houses so little time
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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