guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
