Sponge bath it is.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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