in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
