There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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