I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
only you would photoshop your dick
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
