So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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