Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
