I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
