I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
only if we run a train.
done.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
