I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
i've created a new STD.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
