i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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